Always
by crying saucers
Summary: Ray is having a hard time adjusting to living alone after so long. It doesn't help that she has an over-protective best friend, grumpy midget neighbour, a slightly not-right-in-the-head boss, and ghosts in the past that keep trying to come back to life. (rated T for quite dark themes, Levi x OC AU)
1. Chapter 1

_The metallic taste of blood is warm in her mouth as she coughs crimson splatters on a threadbare carpet. She wipes a bruised hand across her mouth, smearing red as she looks up at the looming figure above her. Despite the fact that she is bloody and aching on the floor, and he is upright and unharmed, she smirks, a hysterical laugh bubbling up from within her chest._

 _"_ _Go ahead," she jeered, her weak arms giving way beneath her. "You've done better before." Another high-pitched laugh. A vicious kick to the ribs, and still she laughs._

 _"_ _Shut up!" He roars. "I swear, I'll fucking kill you, you useless cow!" His bottle, the first of the evening, is swung through the air, crashing into the wall and shattering into dozens of shards, raining glass upon her._

 _"_ _Go ahead, get my blood all over your hands!" Her giggles give way to coughs and more blood. "See if it makes you feel more like a man!" She lets her head fall back, bouncing on the floor. She's baiting him, daring him to keep going, to push her too far this once and end it all. She's weary of this game, the constant treading on eggshells, the smell of cheap beer in the air, the apologetic tears and whispering of sweet nothings, the screams and kicks and roars. She feels tired, isolated, and she has fallen into thinking that she doesn't mind how it ends._

 _He's crouching now, his face livid, inked arms outstretched, thick fingers closing round her fragile neck. She hardly fights as he squeezes, white hot anger blinding him again. She barely feels it, welcoming the sudden lack of oxygen. A pounding fills her head, urgent and obnoxiously loud…_

Ray jerked awake, the insistent pounding continuing, only now she realised it for what it was, a fist knocking on her door. She stumbled up from where she'd fallen asleep on the sofa, her work uniform rumpled, her choppy hair sticking up at odd ends, the room bright as morning light streamed in through the window. She unlocked most of the locks on her door, but left the chain on, opening it and peering through the crack. The knocking ceased and Ray recognised the impatient blonde standing in the dim hall outside.

"Open the damn door," Ali ordered exasperatedly. Ray closed the door slightly and undid the chain, letting her childhood friend shove her way in. Across the hall, the door to flat C opened, revealing the stoic occupant. He locked steely eyes with her momentarily, his gaze flickering over her crumpled clothes witheringly. Ray shut the door without a greeting, pulling the chain back across and locking everything that didn't do so automatically. When she swung round to face Ali, she found her with a bin bag in one hand, tossing empty coke cans and takeout boxes from the low table in front of the scrappy red sofa she'd purchased from a charity shop when she'd moved in.

"Nice to see you too." Ray greeted dryly, making to sit on the couch. A hand shot out and stopped her.

"No, go change. I can't believe you fell asleep on the sofa again. You look like shit, and you've got to leave for work soon." Ali, done with the living room, moved onto the slightly cleaner kitchen, only tidy because Ray hadn't attempted to cook since moving in a month ago. Leaving her friend to do as she pleased, the shorter girl moved into the bedroom, filled mostly with boxes of things she had yet to unpack. Hung up on the wardrobe were three more replicas of the clothes she currently wore, washed and ironed by Ali over the weekend. Ray shed her clothes, remembering at the last moment to toss them in the half filled washing basket, and slipped into a crisp white blouse and black skirt. She left the top button undone, peering at herself in the mirror and poking at her hair. It hadn't been cut very neatly, she and Ali had decided to chop most of it off on a spur of the moment decision, and now the black tresses barely brushed her shoulders, the fringe jagged and a little uneven. Her face was pale, she didn't go out much, and there were faint shadows beginning to appear under shallow blue eyes. Ray stuck her tongue out at her gaunt reflection before heading back into the living room, where Ali seemed to have finished cleaning and begun unpacking some plastic bags she'd dropped by the door.

"You know you don't have to keep doing this Ali." Ray commented, seeing the fresh food being packed into her friend. She felt a flash of guilt as she recalled all the other food that had been bought, and then wasted when she hadn't eaten anything but takeout. Ali snorted and rolled her eyes.

"You are not getting rid of me so easy. I will keep helping out until I'm sure you're okay." She finished unpacked the food, as well as some new cutlery and bowls. She rolled all the plastic bags up and stored them in the cupboard under the sink, dusting her hands off and looking pleased with herself. "And now, I'll walk you to work, and then I'll walk you home and make sure you get to eat something healthy, and take a shower, and get a good night's sleep in a bed, wearing pyjama's." She picked up Ray's thick and worn denim jacket and helped her into it. Ray slipped her feet into low black heels and collected her keys from the hook by the door, and Ali led the way out of the flat.

"What did I ever do to deserve you?" Ray asked, smiling slightly as they strolled down the hall and skipped the elevator, taking the slightly grimy stairs instead.

"You nicked my crayons in nursery." Ali told her. "Instant friendship." She grinned, throwing an arm over Ray's shoulders. Ray chuckled, pushing open the door at the bottom of the stairs and striding into the lobby. Despite her building being in one of the seedier parts of town, it was pretty clean, the lobby decorated with various potted plants and paintings of pretty countryside views. The people all kept to themselves mostly, and Ray was rarely stopped when she came to and from the block of flats, not that she ever left unless Ali was with her.

In unison as they exited the building they both shivered, pulling their coats tighter around them to ward off the chill of the October morning. Ray found herself wishing bitterly that her uniform included trousers, her teeth chattering slightly, much to Ali's amusement.

"So how's Phil?" Ray asked. Ali, as usual, lit up at the mention of her fiancé.

"He's great!" She answered. "Being a real champ about all this, very supportive. He asked if you wanted to come round for dinner one of these days, now you're settled into the flat." Ali's eyes took on a hopeful look and Ray shrugged.

"I guess." She answered non-committedly. Truthfully she'd love to come to dinner, Phil was a professional chef and could prepare exquisite meals with an ease she wasn't even sure she'd ever match up to. Not that she was a bad cook, she just didn't see the point anymore, and she hadn't had to in a long time.

"We'll sort something out." Ali assured firmly, giving Ray The Look. It involved two creases between her brows, narrowed eyes, and pursed lips. It promised that she would not be wriggling out of it.

"Oh look, there's the café." Ray exclaimed with slight relief, the green canopy of the shop a pop of colour on the cloudy grey day. Ali snorted derisively.

"Great swerve Ray," she commented, poking her friend as they approached the café. "Now, behave at work. Smile, socialise, and don't insult the customers." She stopped to hug Ray, who rolled her eyes but wrapped her arms around her grudgingly. They pulled apart and Ali gave her a mock stern look. "And try and befriend your co-workers. They're all really nice and you could do with more than just me for a friend." Ray looked indignant.

"I have more than you. Phil's my friend." She pouted. Ali laughed and ruffled her hair.

"See you soon Ray."

o0o

Hanji reclined in her seat cheerfully, her feet jiggling under the table. Levi aimed a glare at her over his steaming cup of tea, holding it in his usual strange manner. He kept the rim between him thumb and index finger, tipping it when he wanted to take a sip. They'd been sat in near silence for almost 10 minutes now, and Hanji grew ever more impatient. As was custom, Levi had to finish his first cup of tea before the slightly eccentric woman was allowed to begin the onslaught of words. He drained the dregs of his tea with taunting slowness, knowing how eager his old friend was to start a tirade on her life, new combinations she'd mixed up, strange things she'd seen, something stupid her dozy dogs Sonny and Bean had done. The minute his cup hit the saucer she was off.

"I hate that you make me wait," she complained first, pulling a face. "I've been so excited to tell you about the café! Firstly, I invented a new cupcake, with spinach buttercream, I'm sure people will love it, especially since I plan on putting it on potato cakes!" She paused to give him time to comment on her idea, her eyes shining excitedly.

"Sounds like shit," Levi told her, signalling for a refill on his tea and Hanji's disgusting combination of coffee and hot chocolate.

"I'm sure it'll sell out in a day!" Hanji retorted cheerfully. Armin, a gentle natured boy with a blonde bob made his way over, knowing what they wanted, with two steaming cups ready. He put them down wordlessly, but beamed as Hanji thanked him. Levi simply nodded in thanks, picking up his cup. "Anyway, I also hired a new waitress, her name's Rachel. I mention this because well, mostly her height, Christ she must be smaller than you!" Levi narrowed his eyes at Hanji, a warning glare that if she didn't shut up she'd end up with his foot in her face.

Hanji laughed good-naturedly. "Oh calm down Levi," she told him, picking up her mug. "I also think she's very interesting, a lot like you in attitude as well as height." She told him. "She's the most unsociable girl I've ever met, and I know your cousin." She glanced to the back of the café, where said cousin – Mikasa – was working the counter with Sasha, a sweet girl with some terrible eating habits. The kitchen door swung open before she turned away, and the waitress she'd been talking about emerged, her face guarded as she carried two plates out and towards a table near the window, where a couple were snogging over the sugar bowl. Hanji pointed cheerfully. "That's her." She told Levi, who glanced at the girl as she set the plates down with perhaps a little too much force, startling the couple into breaking apart indignantly.

"I know who she is," Levi muttered. Hanji blinked in surprise, scooting her chair closer and leaning across the table to him.

"Really?" She asked. "Spill then! I can't get anything out of her, don't even know her favourite drink!" She sipped her drink, eyes wide with slightly crazed curiosity. Levi rolled his eyes, leaning back and swinging in his chair.

"Nothing to tell," he told her. "She's a paranoid slob who moved into the flat opposite mine a month ago."

"Paranoid, eh?" Hanji looked interested. "Why'd you say that?"

"It's not hard to tell," Levi snorted. "She's got at least 5 locks on her door, she only ever lets one person in, she's constantly checking around her, and since all she eats is takeout I have the pleasure of seeing frustrated delivery guys trying to pass shit through the door with the chain on."

"And you keep a gun under your pillow." Hanji pointed out. "So I guess paranoia can be added to the growing list of traits you two share?" She grinned, and Levi wrinkled his nose at the sight of something green caught in her teeth.

"You have shit in your teeth." He told her, and Hanji shrugged, leaning back and gaining a look of great concentration, her tongue fighting to release the thing, which turned out to be spinach from her earlier experiments with the leaf.

"I gotta say Levi," she continued as if nothing happened. "She could be the one for you." She waggled her eyebrows suggestively. "You know how me and Erwin think you should be finding someone, she'd be perfect!"

"Except for the fact that she's a complete slob. I've seen glimpses of her flat, it's a mess, and so is she." Levi rebuked firmly. He was of the belief that he didn't need any women in his life, not after the fiasco with Petra. Hanji however, waved her hand dismissively.

"She only moved in recently Levi, she's probably busy. Maybe her friend though, that blonde girl. She speaks to me sometimes, very friendly, very sweet." She nodded her head in thought. Levi sighed, hiding the bottom of his face behind his tea.

"Will you shut up about fixing me up?" He ordered in a dark voice.

"Is there anything I can get you?" A voice beside their table had both of them glancing up. The ever impassive Ray stood there, fidgeting slightly under their sudden scrutiny. More so from Hanji than Levi who had merely passed her an assessing glance before turning back to his tea.

"Yes!" Hanji exclaimed, pulling the chair beside her out. "You can have a seat!" Silence fell for a moment as Levi looked up sharply and Ray blinked down at them, an expression of slight surprise and what looked to be fear breaking through her blank mask before she composed herself.

"Sorry Ma'am, I'm working right now." She replied. Hanji waved her hand.

"Nonsense, I'm your boss, and I say take a seat! The café isn't busy, and Armin can take your tables!" She jabbed a finger pointedly at the chair. Ray shook her head.

"No thanks Ma'am," she told her. "Maybe another time." She spun on her heel and hurried back to the kitchen. Hanji, looking disappointed, turned back to Levi.

"See?" She moaned. "She's so unsociable, any of the others would be happy to take a rest and chat for a while." She slumped down on the table. "It's a sham! I make a point of knowing all my workers, we're a big family, 'cept for her, she won't cooperate." She pouted. Levi rolled his eyes.

"You can't force someone to become a part of your family." He pointed out.

"I did it to you."

Levi didn't have a reply for that, merely sipping his tea and ignoring the childish woman before him.

o0o

Ray stood just outside the café, huddled deep into her coat to fend off the evening chill. She was fidgeting from foot to foot, nervous as it grew steadily darker and Ali showed no signs of turning up soon. Across the street a few men stumbled drunkenly from the pub, laughing and shouting to each other, and Ray felt her whole body tense. She wanted to bolt and get back to her flat, lock all the doors, order a takeout and huddle on the sofa until she fell asleep. She didn't want to risk the possibility of missing Ali however, and therefore worrying her friend.

She jumped when the café door opened behind her, the bell ringing shrilly, and Hanji popped out with Levi in tow. Ray had recognised him as her neighbour when she'd seen him earlier, and Hanji had made enthusiastic introductions for them both. Now, she grinned at Ray, tying the belt of her own trench coat around her waist and locking up the café.

"There was a phone call for you Rachel." She told her. "Your friend, Ali. She wanted to tell you she's sorry but she can't meet you tonight." Ray tensed further at her words, her heart sinking and her breath picking up by a fraction.

"Okay, thanks for telling me." She mumbled, ducking her head and turning away. Hanji grabbed her shoulder before she could hurry away.

"Levi'll walk you home, you're both going in the same direction." She ordered. Her voice was so enthusiastic there was barely any room for argument, not that that would stop Ray, who opened her mouth to insist she walk alone, when Levi grabbed her arm and began to lead her away.

"Go home, shitty-glasses." He called back, before turning them round the corner, where they lost sight of the woman. Ray pulled her arm back, perhaps a little too viciously, and put a few feet between her and Levi, walking with her arms wrapped around herself protectively. Levi glanced at her out of the corner of his eye but otherwise showed no emotion on his face. They walked in silence for a few moments before Levi spoke.

"Is he behind bars then?" He asked. Ray glanced up, startled.

"Who?" She retorted sharply. Levi rolled his eyes.

"Your ex." He said bluntly.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't dick around. I can tell it's your ex that made you so damn paranoid." Levi was starting to think making conversation was a bad idea. It was Hanji's fault, she'd pestered him all day, chipping away at his resilience in an attempt to draw the most unsociable people she knew into an unlikely friendship.

"I…" Ray swallowed thickly. "No, he's not in jail." She answered shortly. Levi raised a thin eyebrow.

"Why not?" He asked sharply. A second later he regretted his tone, his thirst for justice taking the wheel for a moment.

"Who cares? How'd you know it was my ex?" Ray dodged the question with skilled ease.

"I'm a detective, it's my job to pay attention to detail."

"And you can't switch it off and mind your own business?" They approached the tall, grey block of flats, Ray getting the door for Levi and holding it open for him.

"If only it were that easy." Levi muttered, thinking of how nice a break it would be if he could just switch it all off and not think about anything, all those miniscule details nobody else ever notices that bug him and drive him crazy. "So why isn't the shitbag rotting in jail?" They approached the stairs, Ray walking slightly ahead of him.

"Mind your own business." She told him again, fishing in her pocket for her keys – even though they'd barely passed floor 4 and both flats were on floor 7. Levi shrugged, Hanji would at least be pleased he'd made a damned effort. The rest of their ascent was made in silence, as was the walk down the darkened corridor to both their doors. Ray hesitated as she put the key in the lock, turning to face Levi slightly. "Uh, have a good evening." She muttered, before sweeping into her flat and slamming the door behind her.


	2. Chapter 2

_A younger Ray, barely 22, crouched in the corner of the room. Her body was racked with sobs, shaking and spasming with every hiccup and sniffle. In the nearby bedroom groans and curses can be heard, stumbling feet and dragging footsteps. A tall figure appears in the doorway, yawning and massaging his head. He catches sight of Ray, distraught and in pain, shards of glass spread about her._

 _"_ _Ray?" He asks, his voice stricken with worry. He rushed over, kneeling in the glass and resting a hand on her shoulder. "Ray baby, speak to me, what happened?" His voice is begging as his hands move to her face, gently pulling it from her hands and examining the blossoming bruise on her cheek. "Oh baby I'm so sorry." He pulled her into a hug, burying his face in her shoulder, tears leaking from his eyes. "I promise, I swear, it won't happen again baby, I didn't mean to, I'm so sorry." He pulled away and pressed a gentle kiss to the bruise, and another one to her lips. "I'm sorry, I wasn't in my right mind baby, and it wasn't me." He stood up, gently pulling her with him and holding her close. Ray's sobs had evened out slightly by now, and she timidly raised a hand to press it against his cheek._

 _"_ _Y-you scare me Caleb," she whispered hoarsely. "Y-you r-really scare me." She buried her face in his chest. "I-I'm sorry, b-but I'm going to s-stay with Ali for a f-few days." She winced as his grip around her tightened suddenly, placing pressure on her bruises. "C-Caleb," she gasped out._

 _"_ _You're not leaving me baby. I can't be without you," Caleb pulled her face roughly to face up at him. "You can't go." He told her, the volume of his voice climbing. "If you go I don't know what I'll do!" He shook her and she cried out, tears dribbling down her face again. "You're never going to leave me baby, and I don't want that nosy brat poking her nose in. We're fine, you're happy aren't you? Yesterday we had such a lovely day, you looked so beautiful." He buried his chin in her shoulder, his stubble scratching her skin and making her squirm. He held her even tighter, lifting his head and pressing against her lips in a punishing kiss, while she whimpered and struggled in his arms._

Ray opened her eyes with a shout, throwing her arms out to protect herself and falling from the sofa with a loud thump and a cry of pain as her ankle twisted beneath her. She lay there for a moment, face scrunched up in pain, chest heaving with wheezing breaths. It was as she was gingerly pushing herself up that she heard a firm knock on her door. She froze, staring at the varnished wood in the watery darkness. The knock continued and she shook slightly, pushing herself up and hobbling over. She unlocked all the locks, pulling it open as far the chain would allow and peering out uncertainly. A tall, muscular blonde man stood there, half dressed with his hair tousled and shirt barely on.

"Sorry to disturb you," he greeted, looking down at Ray curiously, thick eyebrows furrowed. "I heard shouting and a crash and I wanted to make sure you were okay." His face flicked over her form, still in her uniform and messy from sleeping on the couch again. Her hair was lank, severely needing a wash, and she was shaking, both from the cold and the fear she'd felt in her dream.

"S-sorry," she stammered. "I'll k-keep it down." She went to close the door, when the man put his hand against it, not letting it close, a concerned expression on his face.

"It's fine, I'm not angry, I was awake anyway. I just wanted to make sure you're okay. It's Rachel, isn't it?" His voice had lowered slightly, as if he were talking to a frightened animal, trapped in a corner. Ray nodded, confirming her name. The man smiled softly. "I'm Erwin Smith, I live next door. I've been meaning to come and introduce myself for a while now, though this isn't quite how I'd imagined myself doing it." He chuckled slightly and held out his hand for Ray to shake. She looked at it with a look akin to terror in her eyes, but her own boney hand came up tentatively and took his through the crack in the door. His engulfed hers, though he didn't seem to mind, shaking it warmly and firmly. Ray retracted her hand quickly.

"W-well I'm Rachel Nicoll. It's n-nice to meet you." She managed a small smile. "Erwin is German, right?" Erwin smiled easily, nodding.

"Yes, my grandparents moved to England from Germany." He replied. "I'd make a smart observation about your name but I can't think of anything." He smiled apologetically.

"Rachel is a Biblical name," Ray offered. "But I j-just go by Ray."

"Ray," Erwin savoured the word for a moment. "Very nice." He glanced down at himself ruefully. "Well, I'd better go and finish getting dressed," he said. "We should arrange for dinner sometime." Ray's eyes widened and she shifted from foot-to-foot.

"Um, maybe." She replied. "It was nice to meet you Erwin." She closed the door gently, turning and pressing her back against it. She gnawed at her lip nervously, before glancing at the clock. 7.15. She found herself moving to the bathroom, wanting to take a shower, surprising herself. For the past 3 months Ali had been basically babying her. She fed her, found her flat, got her a job, made sure she showered, decorated the new flat, washer her clothes. Ray had found it difficult to care, she felt damaged and broken, simply going through the motions of whatever Ali told her to do. If it weren't for Ali, she'd simply have lived and quickly died on the streets. Or worse, she'd have found her way back to Caleb. Some nights she even found she missed him, though she knew she shouldn't. He'd taken care of her, cooked for her, sheltered her, bought her clothes and told her what to do. She'd found it sweet at first, but it only took a few months before she began to feel suffocated, tethered, controlled. She couldn't go out, she couldn't wear her old clothes, she wasn't allowed to cut her hair, she had to follow his every order, or else the consequences would be brutal.

She fingered her jagged hair, staring in the mirror as she waited for the shower to heat up, the water drops pounding the basin thunderously. She remembered the night they decided to cut it, two weeks after Ali got her out, when she'd broken down sobbing on her friends sofa, and finally opened up a little bit. Ali said she just needed to find the old her again, the spunky punk rebel who hadn't given a damn and dreamed of someday playing drums in some shitty metal band. They'd cut her hair that night, and gone shopping the next day, burning everything Caleb had bought her, all the drab tops and prudish dresses. Now all she owned were skirts, revealing tops, short and colourful dresses, even a corset she swore she'd never wear.

Ray jutted her chin out, shooting herself a defiant look in the foggy mirror. She was determined to become independent, to live for herself, like the old her.

o0o

Black smoke curled up in a cloud above the stove as Ray frantically waved a towel in the air. The overwhelming smell of burning food filled the air and she coughed, her eyes watering as she poked at the pan on the hot ring, shoving it out of the way and wincing as she burned her fingers. A few seconds later the shrill ringing of the fire alarm began. She dropped the towel, smacking her hands over her ears. She suddenly felt utterly dejected, tears watering at the edge of her vision as she sank to the ground in front of the cooker, trying to block out the ringing and the burning and the onslaught of memories. She didn't hear the banging at her door, the frantic crying of her name, Ali's spare keys scraping the locks and the door flying open to reveal a panicked Ali and a frustrated Levi.

Ali rushed forward, grabbing Ray by the shoulders and shaking her. Ray looked up, startled, and shoved her back, scrambling to get away. All she could think of was Caleb, he was shaking her, he was in the corner, he was in the doorway, sneering at her, laughing at her attempt at normalcy.

All of a sudden the shrill ringing cut off, and something cold was shoved in her hands.

"Drink." A distant voice ordered. She did so obediently, taking a gulp of what turned out to be ice cold water. She blinked, feeling the dizziness beginning to fade away as she focused on the drink, gulping it down and soothing her dry throat. She gasped as she finished the cup, blinking rapidly and staring around her, bewildered. She was kneeling on the tiled floor of her kitchen, the fire alarm had been miraculously shut off, and the air was less smokey. Staring at her were Ali and Levi. Ray stared at Levi, a man, in her home, in her space. She slid back slightly, glancing helplessly at Ali, who looked shaken up.

"It's alright Ray," she murmured gently. "It's just Levi, from across the hall."

"I know that," Ray choked out, her throat still dry. "But he's in the flat Ali. No one's supposed to be here, you promised." This earned her a steely gaze from Levi.

"A thanks would be nice, for helping you when you tried to burn down the building." He retorted sharply. Ali, seeing Ray flinch, softened her gaze and held out a hand, helping her to her feet.

"What were you trying to do?" She asked. Ray looked at the shrivelled remnants of what used to be bacon.

"I wanted to cook." She whispered. "I wanted to be like I used to, independent. I couldn't even cook some fucking bacon though." She gritted her teeth and tightened her hands into fists, stomping a foot on the ground. To her surprise, instead of looking stricken or upset, Ali laughed quietly. Ray shot her a questioning look, and she simply laughed harder. "What?" She asked, looking down at herself, thinking maybe there was something on her clothes or face. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary though, she still wore the red skirt and black top she'd put on after her shower.

"Nothing, it's just, you're acting like you again." Ali answered, grinning. "Old Ray always stomped her feet when something didn't go her way, she was stroppy. Recent you would just shake and cry. And you showered, and you tried, so at least there's that." She clapped her hands happily. "You even look a little better! Well, apart from the soot." She giggled and turned away, picking up the shopping bags that had been hastily dropped on the couch. She looked at the coffee table in shock. "You cleared up a bit." She exclaimed. Ray rolled her eyes, wrapping her arms around her stomach as she looked at Levi, still uncomfortable that he was in her sanctuary.

"You're a grown ass woman who needs congratulating for cleaning up and throwing a tantrum?" He scoffed, raising his eyebrows. There was little heat behind his words, but Ray looked down anyway, nervously shifting between feet. She did see what Ali meant, she felt a little like herself, but she had a way to go before she could snap back a witty response to someone she barely knew. She'd hardly spoken to Levi since he'd walked her home a week ago, occasionally nodding if she saw him whilst walking with Ali or… well she'd yet to leave the flat without Ali's presence.

"Ray, hurry up and get ready for work, we've got to leave in 10 minutes. Also, I brought you some new curtains, to go in your room when you finally decide to unpack it and use the damned bed to sleep."

o0o

Levi sipped his tea leisurely, hidden from Hanji's impatient gaze behind his newspaper, reading an article about a case involving three murdered women in their twenties, a case he himself had assisted on. As usual the reporter was only interested in the juicy details and horror factor, completely misinterpreting every word they'd said and telling the investigation wrong. He sighed, setting his cup down and carefully folding the paper, coming face to face with Hanji as soon as he lowered it.

"Good, you're finished!" She exclaimed, leaning away to sit properly in her chair. "I made a new cupcake range! They're inspired by Sonny and Bean, one's chocolate, one's toffee. They're made to look like them, to replace the potato cakes topped with spinach buttercream." Her face fell and she looked crestfallen. "They didn't sell, but you'll take some home right?" She looked up hopefully.

"When Hell freezes over." He told her, though he knew he'd end up taking home a tub full of the disgusting experiment. Hanji grinned, grabbing her mug and draining it.

"Also, I've been speaking more to Ali, Rachel's friend, but she's very tight lipped, won't tell me anything about her. Well, some things, but not why she's so quiet and unsociable." She pouted, before she lit up again. "She did tell me her favourite hot beverage is tea, dash of milk and one sugar, another thing she shares with you Levi!" She was saved from having her leg savagely kicked when a man taller than the both of them combined sat down, motioning for a waitress. "Erwin!" Hanji exclaimed, clapping the newcomer on the back excitedly.

"Hello Hanji," Erwin greeted, smiling warmly. "Sorry I'm late, and for not being here last week. This promotion's running me off my feet, constant paperwork on one thing or another. Congratulations on closing that case Levi." The smaller man grunted his thanks, pondering if Hanji would be terribly missed if she disappeared. He reckoned no, but then again she'd probably left him those slobbering mutts in her will just to piss him off from beyond the grave. He was interrupted from further plotting when a familiar waitress approached. "Ray!" Erwin greeted in surprise. "I didn't know you worked here!"

"Erwin!" Ray sounded just as surprised, setting down Levi's tea and Hanji's coffee-hot chocolate. "Yeah, I started about a month ago. What can I get for you?"

"Coffee please, black." Erwin answered, smiling kindly. Ray nodded, striding away to fetch it. Hanji rounded on Erwin.

"I didn't know you knew Rachel!" She exclaimed accusatorily.

"She's our neighbour," Erwin told her. "I met her this morning. She prefers to be called Ray I think." He glanced at the waitress, who was nodding at something Armin was saying. Hanji narrowed her eyes, leaning threateningly towards him.

"You can't have her Erwin, I have plans to set her up with Levi." She muttered. Erwin leaned in too, dropping his own voice.

"Hanji," he breathed. "I'm gay you idiot." He snorted with laughter. "And I've been in a stable relationship with Mike for four years." He added. Hanji brightened up, pushing away and settling back in her seat.

"Oh yeah!" She said. "You can help me force them together then."

"You can't set me up with her shitty-glasses." Levi cut in sharply. "Or anyone really, but definitely not her."

"And why not?" Hanji looked affronted. "Is it because she's messy? Because she's better than me. Or maybe because- " Levi cut her off again.

"She's fresh out of an abusive relationship shit-for-brains."

An uncomfortable silence settled over the table.

"How'd you know?" Hanji asked.

"It's not hard to see." Levi scoffed, looking at Erwin, who shrugged.

"I guess not," he murmured. "It is a good explanation for…well, everything." He ran a hand through his smooth hair. "You know if the perp got arrested?" He asked. Levi shook his head.

"He's free, she wouldn't say why." He replied, picking up his tea. "Scumbag." He added darkly. Erwin and Hanji nodded in agreement.

"Well, this only deepens my resolve to make her a part of the Titan Café Family!" She declared. Levi cringed.

"Your café has a shit name." He told her, but she merely laughed and chucked a packet of sugar at him.


	3. Chapter 3

Ray shifted nervously from foot to foot, too apprehensive to sit down, her eyes flicking to the door every couple of seconds. It was her day off, and she'd agreed to take care of her younger half-brother after he'd finished school for the day. She had barely seen her family over the past 2 years, and Ali had actively encouraged her in talking to them and getting involved. She'd met with her mother after two weeks staying with Ali, and spoke with her sister over the phone a few times. Edward, who had recently turned 15, was starting his tenth year of school and was incredibly unhappy about being babysat for the evening while their mother went out to a charity dinner and dance with her husband.

For what felt like the millionth time Ray smoothed her hands down her clothes, deep red jeans and a black halter neck crop top, picked by Ali, who had also insisted on an armful of black bangles and an assortment of rings to complete the ensemble. She looked like she had before, which was what they had been aiming for, to ensure Edward felt comfortable around her. A knock at the door startled her, and Ray leaped forward, unlocking it with shaky hands and pulling it open, even leaving the chain off for once. Standing in the hall was a short boy, clad in uniform Ray recognised from when she'd been at the same high school. He'd made all the same amendments she had, unbuttoning the top buttons, loosening his tie, untucking his shirt, badges covering his blazer lapels. The only difference was that he didn't wear a black skirt hiked up high over his knees. His dark hair stuck up at all angles, grass and mud staining the bottom of his trousers.

"Your hair looks like shit." Edward greeted, shoving past her and entering the flat, throwing his school bag down on the floor. Ray shut the door with a smile, turning to find the boy already examining her flat, peering at the few books and CD's on the shelves.

"Nice to see you too Eddie." She replied, striding over and ruffling his hair the way he'd always hated. He swatted her away, pulling a face.

"Whatever. I'm starved, you got any food?" The teenager moved onto the small kitchen. Ray followed, leaning against the counter.

"Probably, Ali keeps me stocked up." She told him. Edward glanced at her.

"You're still friends with Ali?" He asked, his voice a little funny. Ray smiled.

"Yep." She stepped forward, pulling the fridge open to peruse the food. She hadn't even looked in there since the incident with the bacon. It was surprisingly full, and not with food that had gone off and rotted.

"So, how is she?" Edward asked, leaning casually against the wall. Ray pulled out a carton of milk, closing the fridge and moving onto a cupboard, finding a clear plastic box filled with double chocolate chip cookies.

"She's good, got engaged." She glanced at Edward out of the corner of her eye, noting how crestfallen he looked at her words. "This look good?" She asked, holding up the cookies and milk. Edward shrugged, wandering over to sprawl on her sofa.

"It'll do," he answered dejectedly. Ray hid a smile. Edward had always had a crush on Ali, ever since he was little. She grabbed some glasses Ali had bought for her and brought them to the coffee table, setting them down with the cookies and milk.

"How's school going?" She asked, sitting cross legged on the other side of the sofa. Edward made a face, grabbing a cookie.

"It sucks, don't tell dad but I got another detention today." He told her.

"And you're still friends with Riley?" She asked. Edward had been best friends with the tall girl since forever, always getting into trouble with her. Edward shrugged.

"We're friends, but she's acting a bit weird lately." He answered glumly. "She hangs out with people I don't like, she cancels a lot when we arrange stuff." Ray frowned. Riley had always been a good kid, with a few problems due to people teasing her for her height, and her parent's divorce.

"She's hanging out with a bad crowd?" She asked. Edward nodded, finishing his cookie.

"I think she might be smoking, I found a lighter and an empty packet of tobacco in her room." He ran a hand through his hair, messing it up even further.

"Have you talked to her about it?" Ray asked. Edward shook his head. "Maybe you should try, ask her what's going on. Try and help her out." She suggested. Edward snorted derisively.

"What, like mum did for you?" He asked pointedly. Ray paused, looking at her brother impassively.

"I think that Riley's situation and mine are slightly different." She told him carefully. Edward leaned forward.

"What happened to you though?" He asked. "I mean, you were basically gone for two years. Mum was depressed for most of that time, and you weren't there for her." He sounded slightly angry now. Ray bit her lip, leaning her head on the back of the sofa tiredly.

"I was living with Caleb." She told him.

"I know that," Edward retorted. "What were you doing with him that was so important you couldn't even visit?" His words cut through her like a knife.

"Has mum told you anything at all?" Ray asked, hating the faint tremor in her voice.

"No." Edward answered curtly. Ray gulped. She had been dreading this moment, when she'd have to explain what had happened. Her mother knew, minus any details, and so did her step-father. Hannah, their older sister, also knew. Edward obviously deserved to know, being the only one in the dark about everything. She shifted in her seat, sitting up further.

"Eddie," she started softly. "I haven't visited for two years because I have been in a… well… Caleb was…" she tried to think of how to put it. "He was very controlling. And, well… abusive." She winced at the word, she hated to use it, especially to describe the man she'd once loved. That was why she'd stayed at first, a twisted form of love. When she realised she didn't love him, she stayed out of pity, and eventually she was simply too tired to care what happened.

"Caleb was… abusive?" Edward asked, his voice sounding slightly funny. Ray nodded silently. He cleared his throat a few times. "He hit you?" He asked tightly. She nodded again. "That bastard!" Her eyes widened and she glanced up to see Edward's face contorted with anger, hands tightened into fists.

"Eddie," she pleaded, hands rising to clutch at his shoulders. "Calm down alright?"

"No!" Edward shouted. "I won't calm down Ray!" He shook her off, jumping off the sofa and pacing the living room.

"It's fine Eddie," she tried to tell him, but he just shot her an incredulous look.

"No it isn't." He told her. "It's sick! It's disgusting! It's not alright, and you don't have to pretend it is just because you don't want me to be angry!" Ray ran a hand through her hair, biting her lip.

"Look, Eddie," she tried, forcing her voice to sound firm and unshaking. "I'm trying to get back to a normal life. It's hard enough already when I feel so shitty all the time, but when people get angry about it and try to make a big deal, it just makes it worse. I want to never think about it and move on, but I can't do that if people keep telling me I have to be angry or want to get revenge for me or some shit." A silence fell between them and she found herself holding her breath, praying he'd understand. After a little while, Eddie sighed, falling back onto the sofa dejectedly.

"Can you tell me about it?" He asked quietly.

"All of it?" He shook his head quickly, sensing the slight apprehension in her voice.

"Just… I wanna know about it. Not specific details though." He seemed afraid for upsetting her with his request, but Ray felt it was normal. Of course he'd want to understand, he would be curious about what happened.

"How about you ask me questions, and if I don't want to answer I'll tell you, and we can avoid those topics?" She suggested, picking up a cookie and lightly nibbling on it. Eddie nodded, following her lead and grabbing a cookie for himself, drawing his feet up onto the sofa and getting comfortable.

"So," he started awkwardly. "Was he always uh…y'know, abusive?" He seemed to have trouble with his phrasing, worrying that it might upset her. Ray smiled gently.

"It's okay Eddie. Caleb was abusive," the words sounded funny even to her own ears, to sum up the man she'd once loved, the complex poetry lover squashed into one category. "I have to get used to saying it, like everyone else. Skirting around the word will just make it worse." She bit into her cookie, chewing slowly so as to give her time to get her thoughts together to answer his question. "And to answer, no, he wasn't always like that. The only reason he managed to catch and keep me was because I loved him. When we moved in together, that's when it started, and even then it was small stuff. Telling me what to wear, giving me times to get home, checking my phone constantly, always having physical contact with me when we went out." Looking back, she always wished she'd spotted those signs, but she'd just thought Caleb was stressed. He'd been made redundant, and was relying on her income to keep financially afloat. Later she discovered he's quit his job and lied to her. Eddie was studying her face, watching her expressions.

"So why did you stay?" He asked. Ray shrugged.

"Many reasons. At first it was love, but it quickly became apparent he didn't love me, and I didn't love him. He was in love with the idea of controlling someone weaker than him. After that I tried to leave a few times, but he'd lie and cheat and guilt me into staying, making out it'd be better. After a while I stopped believing him, and then I was just staying because I'd become so reliant upon his controlling behaviour that I didn't believe I could make it in the world alone. I was too tired to leave." Her breath hitched and she swallowed a lump that had appeared in her throat. "I lost who I was. He shattered my self-esteem, he forced me to become his puppet. It was hell." A tear rolled down her cheek, and Eddie looked as though he wanted to cry too, setting down his cookie and reaching out to wrap his arms around her shoulders, burying his face in her neck.

"I'm sorry." He muttered hoarsely. Ray nodded mutely, wrapping her arms around him too. They sat like that for several minutes, neither willing to admit that they were crying. Eventually they pulled away and gave each other watery smiles.

"Any more questions?" Ray asked, wiping her eyes on her hands. Eddie looked hesitant.

"You don't have to… we can do this another time." He suggested warily. Ray shook her head.

"It's okay, I want you to understand and not be in the dark." She told him, waiting for the next question and sipping her milk. Eddie drew in a deep breath.

"Okay. When did he, y'know, hit you?" He asked. "Was it really bad?" Ray paused. She had to mentally prepare herself for this, the most prominent of her memories of Caleb.

"The first time was when I suggested he move out for a little while and get his own place." She told him. "I'd begun to feel suffocated. He was furious with me, slapped me in the face." She remembered that day clearly. Caleb had never been one to slap her about, he could get quite creative, but it was almost always punched and kicks and the like. The few times he'd outright slapped her were easy to remember, they'd make her feel so small and fragile. They seemed to highlight how weak she truly was. "After that he apologised, promised to look for a job and back off. We had a lovely dinner that night, and I saw a guy wearing a Metallica shirt. I struck up conversation with him, and Caleb got jealous, thought I was flirting with other men when all we discussed were decent bands. When we got home he shoved me down and screamed at me, beat me black and blue and stormed off to drink, leaving me to clean up the mess." Eddie sucked in a breath at her words.

"Asshole." He muttered eloquently. Ray let out a strained laugh.

"Not as creative as Ali, but you'll get there," she joked, trying to lighten the mood slightly. "Let's stop with the questions now though." She'd thought she'd be able to handle them all, but she'd reached her limits now, and Eddie instantly nodded, letting her know it was okay. Eddie's presence grounded her and stopped her from sinking into a pit of self-pity however, encouraging her to stay focused. He reminded her that she was trying to get away from Caleb and get back to her old self. "Chicken pie and roast potatoes." She announced suddenly. Eddie lit up, immediately understanding what she meant. Growing up she and Hannah often had to babysit Eddie, and those times were the only times Ray could cook them dinner, chicken pie being hers and Eddie's favourite, roast potatoes being Hannah's favourite.

"Sounds perfect." Eddie replied, grabbing the remnants of his cookie and dunking it in her milk.

o0o

Erwin and Levi had bumped into Ali on the way home from work, exchanging polite greetings with each other as they all traipsed up the seven flights of stairs. The air between them was vaguely awkward, not quite comfortable enough with each other to be considered, not exactly strangers either. At least Levi and Ali weren't, Erwin had just passed the blonde occasionally at the café or around the block of flats. As soon as they arrived on floor 7, their eyes all seemed to simultaneously widen in surprise. A delicious smell was wafting through the corridor, and none of them really believed where it was coming from.

"Did someone move into the empty flat?" Ali asked abruptly, hardly daring to believe. Erwin shook his head. It was only him, Levi, and Ray here. "So that's Ray cooking?" Ali asked reverently. Levi and Erwin raised eyebrows at how happy she suddenly seemed. They both knew about Ray's failed attempt at a bacon butty, so it was surprising to realise she might be capable of actually using an oven. Ali however, was overjoyed for a different reason, the only one really understanding how damaged Ray was after Caleb.

"So she is capable of cooking without setting fire to the building." Levi commented snidely. Ali rolled her eyes, pace quickening as she strode to Ray's flat and banged on the door excitedly. It whipped open with surprising speed to reveal someone who was not Ray, though they could hear her protests in the background.

"Hey Ali," Eddie greeted cheerfully. Ali grinned, ruffling the boys hair as Ray had done.

"Wassup champ," she greeted. "What's cooking?" She sniffed the air appreciatively.

"Chicken pie and roast potatoes." Eddie answered proudly. "Plus I managed to get Ray to make her awesome sticky toffee pudding for dessert." He puffed out his chest smugly. Erwin lingered at Ray's door, while Levi watched him with a raised eyebrow. Ray pottered over to the door, wearing bright yellow rubber gloves and a frilly pink apron (novelty gift from Ali).

"Hey Ali," she greeted nervously, carefully pulling the gloves off. Ali grinned broadly at her.

"Hey you!" Her friend gave her a good natured shove, pushing breezily into the flat and setting some bags on the coffee table. Ray looked at Levi and Erwin, a blush on her cheeks.

"It's nice to see you again." Erwin told her, smiling warmly.

"Same to you," she replied, beginning to untie the apron and pull it over her head, revealing her form fitting clothes. She was rather aware some of her stomach and arms showed in this top. Levi was surprised by himself as he traced the skin he could see with his eyes, admiring the tattoos that decorated her. From the distance he stood at he was unable to make out any details however.

An idea seemed to strike Ray and she nervously looked over her shoulder at Ali, who was peering into the oven curiously. "Would you like to come in and have dinner?" She asked her neighbours. Erwin had said something before about getting dinner one night, and since it was incredibly unlikely that she'd ever go to a restaurant and be comfortable with him, this seemed the best option. Erwin looked surprised at the offer, while the only indication Levi was shocked was the elevation of one thin brow.

"That would be lovely," Erwin answered for both of them. "As long as it's not too much trouble." He added. Aware of her situation, he knew she'd be delicate and it must be a rather big step to invite two people into her safe place like this. She shrugged, though her body was tensed, giving away how nervous she really was.

"I have yet to use the new dining table so the more the merrier, eh?" She stepped aside to let them in, and Levi inwardly sighed rather huffily, but made no comment as he followed his friend/boss/guy-he-hated into the apartment. Ray closed the door behind them, and Ali looked up from where she and Eddie were spooning toffee straight from the can. They shot her a questioning look, and she smiled uneasily. "Erwin and Levi are gonna stay for dinner," she announced. "Since I made way too much for just three of us anyway." She shrugged again, like it was no big deal, and put her gloves back on as she went back into the kitchen, leaving Erwin and Levi to make themselves comfortable on her couch.

Levi grudgingly admitted that the place was a lot cleaner than he expected, and the fact that she wore gloves to cook set some of his ill-thoughts at ease. Any take-out containers and rubbish had been cleared, and it looked as though someone had actually swept the place (it might even have been mopped, but Levi didn't get too hopeful). It still needed a lot of unpacking, there were boxes stacked in one corner, and it had little to no personal possessions on display, except for an easel squeezed in behind the door, a stack of haphazard sketchbooks piled beside it. The rectangular dining table she'd mentioned fit perfectly in the large space behind the living area, with enough space left for 6 chairs to comfortably fit around it, though none of the chairs actually matched.

"Drinks?" Ali asked, approaching the couch and taking over as hostess for the moment.

"Just water for me thanks." Erwin answered. Ali nodded and glanced at Levi questioningly.

"Tea please." She nodded and turned back to the kitchen, shooing Eddie out to the living room as he attempted to take a sip from her glass of red wine. The boy rolled his eyes but obligingly sat at the other seat, a blue armchair that definitely didn't match the red couch.

"I'm Eddie by the way," he introduced himself to the guests. Erwin smiled kindly.

"I'm Erwin, and this is Levi." He replied. "Are you Ray's brother by any chance?" When the boy nodded his smile widened. "Thought so, the resemblance truly is uncanny." The two shared the same shade of almost black hair, had the same long face and sloped nose, the wide, thick lips. The only real difference he could see was that Eddie's eyes were hazel, while Ray's were a blue that was, at times, disconcerting.

"We're only half siblings, but we both took after our mum." Eddie explained. "Whereas Hannah, our sister, has really light hair and takes after her dad apparently." Erwin was interested by this.

"There are only three of you?" He asked. Eddie nodded. "Funny, I'd just assumed this whole time that Ali was Ray's sibling, or a cousin or something." This appeared to be a common misconception, if Eddie's laugh was anything to go by.

"Yeah, they get that a lot, 'specially when they were kids, they were basically inseparable. I remember a time when they'd wear matching outfits almost constantly." A throat cleared nearby and they all glanced up to see Ali, holding a glass of water and a mug of tea. She raised an eyebrow at Eddie, who shrunk back into himself slightly, looking sheepish. "Or not. Maybe they were perfectly normal kids who didn't ever dress up in tutus and leg warmers and make up dance routines on the trampoline." He muttered. Ali rolled her eyes, handing Erwin and Levi their drinks.

"Nice save kid." She replied dryly. "Don't forget we've got all the juicy tidbits on you as a kid as well." She winked mischievously and swept off back to the kitchen. Erwin raised an eyebrow at Eddie.

"I can imagine being raised alongside them was rather adventurous." He commented, though from what he'd seen Ali was the adventurous one. Ray seemed like a quiet girl who got dragged into things with no short amount of frustration. He couldn't really imagine her initiating anything particularly unruly. Eddie vigorously nodded at his observation.

"Those two nearly got expelled like, a dozen times," he told them. "I blame them for any trouble I get into, Ray was a terrible influence growing up."

"Was not!" An indignant voice wafted from the kitchen. He narrowed his eyes.

"Was too!"

"Was not!"

"Was too!"

"Shut up and lay the table pipsqueak!" Eddie rolled his eyes and got up from his seat, while Erwin chuckled at the childish display. He looked down at Levi, who looked bored as he sipped his tea, and nudged the smaller man gently.

"Smile a little, it isn't that bad here." He murmured. He knew how unsociable his friend could be, but he had to be able to see that this was kind of an honour, to be allowed into Ray's home after her ordeals. He knew how paranoid the woman was, and it was a huge step to see her letting them in. Levi shrugged non-committedly.

"It's not bad, but it's not what I had in mind for my evening." He muttered. Behind them Eddie began to lay cutlery down at the table, and there were clinks and scrapes as food was dished up in the kitchen. Pretty soon they were all seated around the table, Ali leading the conversation animatedly, while Ray sat quietly and ate, occasionally adding her 10 cents. It had been a while since she'd been so sociable, and her energy quickly ran dry. It wasn't an entirely un-enjoyable evening however. That is, until it was almost over, and her phone rang.


	4. Chapter 4

Ray visibly stiffened when the shrill ringing interrupted an interesting and detailed account of the time she and Ali managed to find their way onto the school roof. They'd all just finished a tasty dessert and sat nursing cups of coffee or tea. It had long since gotten dark outside, though it was only a little after 7pm. Since the only people who knew her mobile number were her parents, Ali, and her boss, she was a little wary of answering it. She excused herself from the table, going to her bag, which hung on the back of the couch, and rootled through it to find the device. Ali quickly began speaking again, and she took the phone into the quieter bedroom to answer it.

"Hello?" She asked hesitantly. The screen said it was an unknown number, and she was wary about who it could be.

 _"_ _Rachel?"_ She froze, the familiar voice sending spikes of ice down her spine. Her fingers tightened painfully around the phone, and she was afraid she'd break it in her grip.

"Caleb?" She whispered. There was no denying it was him, she'd remember his voice absolutely anywhere. She doubted she'd ever be able to forget it.

 _"_ _Rachel! Baby it's so good to hear your voice."_ His voice was ever so slightly slurred, and she shuddered. He was drunk, but not completely so. She could never decide what was worse, the angry kind of drunk where he'd smash his fist into her face, or this one, the touchy one who'd hold her down and roughly kiss her, hands needily groping her.

"How did you get this number Caleb?" She demanded, trying to force the terrified shaking from her voice.

 _"_ _It doesn't matter. Listen baby, don't you think you've punished me enough? Just come back home, I miss you so much."_ His voice was begging, and Ray was horrified when she actually considered his words for a moment. It would be far simpler, just to go back and finish her life there with him. There wouldn't be any more effort, the strain of getting up, forcing herself to go to work, just making herself eat was a chore. The hushed voices and clinks in the other room grounded her though, reminded her of how much progress she'd made just tonight, letting in two men, cooking a proper meal, taking care of Eddie for an afternoon. She was getting a little better, she didn't need Caleb.

"I'm not coming back Caleb." She said firmly, managing to keep the tremor at bay.

 _"_ _What? Baby you aren't thinking straight, just come home and we'll sort this all out."_ His voice grew more agitated. Ray's fingers tightened around the phone.

"No." She told him.

 _"_ _Baby-"_

"No Caleb. It's over. Lose this number. Please." He began to grow angry as she held firm.

 _"_ _Don't talk to me like that! You're cheating on me aren't you? Who's the guy? Rachel, I swear to god, if you're cheating on me I'll fucking-"_ She never heard the rest of his angry tirade, the phone plucked from her hands suddenly by someone who'd quietly appeared behind her.

"Listen shit-for-brains," Levi's cold voice started speaking, and Ray whirled around, stumbling slightly. Levi grabbed hold of her arm to stop her falling. "She said it's over, it's over. Call this number again and I'll personally have you arrested for harassment." He hung up before Caleb could get a word in. Ray felt horrendous shakes wrack her body, and he steered her to the barely used bed, sitting her down. After a moment she felt something heavy wrap over her shoulders, a thick blanket. She shivered and gratefully pulled it round her. "I've blocked the number he used." Levi said, placing the phone on her nightstand. Ray nodded mutely, clutching the edges of the blanket as though it were her lifeline. Steps and hushed voices came from the other room, but she paid them no mind, even when Ali's face popped around the doorframe worriedly, and she exchanged concerned words with Levi, who was going through her phone. She seemed to lose time for a little while, and when she looked up, Levi was still there, looking at her.

"How did he get my number?" She asked, her voice hoarse and barely louder than a whisper. Levi shrugged.

"Could've gotten it from anyone you know." He answered. Ray looked crestfallen, only maybe five people knew her mobile number, meaning one of them had given it away. She was about to speak again when Levi's voice interrupted, except he wasn't talking to her, he was talking into his phone.

"Hanji, did you give somebody Rachel's mobile phone number?" He asked, foregoing greetings. He had seen the few contacts in Ray's phone, and narrowed it down to only one or two people. Hanji had her number for work purposes, and she was the only one who wouldn't know how crucial it was to not give the number away.

On the other end of the phone line, Hanji was reclining back on her sofa, two large, slobbering mutts piled over her.

"Yeah, a woman came in earlier today." She answered slowly. "She said she recognised Ray and asked if she could possibly have her number. Why?"

 _"_ _Because her ex got his hands on it and just phoned her."_ Levi's voice was sharp and accusatory, though he hardly meant it that way. He understood Hanji wouldn't have known the consequences of her actions, since Ray had told her nothing and she only had scraps of information to go on. Hanji was silent for a moment.

"That's bad, right?" She asked, biting at a hangnail on her thumb.

 _"_ _Yeah. I've got to go, Rachel's going into shock."_ He hung up before Hanji could demand to know why the two were together this late at night. She sighed, throwing her phone to the desk across the room and missing spectacularly.

Back in Ray's room, Levi grudgingly knelt next to the bed. He understood that perhaps she wasn't eager for reassuring touches, if she was jumpy normally who knew what she'd be like in that moment, so he just kept his distance while assuring she knew he was there.

"Hanji told him?" She croaked out. Levi nodded.

"I think it would be best you explain to her why it's a bad idea to do that again, and how dangerous it would be." He was making a suggestion, but it came out more like an order. "That way if someone comes asking after you again, she can warn you." Ray nodded, acknowledging his suggestion.

"I need to look after Eddie," she declared, her voice suddenly much stronger as she forced herself to her feet, the blanket falling haphazardly behind her. Levi raised an eyebrow as he too got to his feet. One minute ago she could barely stand she was so afraid, and now she was suddenly looking as determined and confident as he'd ever seen her. He had half a mind to tell her to sit the fuck back down, but he could understand her motives. She was using babysitting Eddie as something to ground her. She had to look after him, rather than wallow in her own fear and self pity. He knew she wanted to become her 'old self' again, though he didn't know what that was like, and as the elder sister, that meant looking after her brother like she used to. She shook visibly as she left the room, leaving Levi to sit quietly in his thoughts. He'd called her a brat a fair few times, but he privately admitted that she at least had a spine now.

o0o

Ray felt more than a little nervous as she gently pushed open the café door, listening to the light tinkling of the bell above it. It was her day off, and she'd expected to stay home and sulk as usual, but instead she'd decided to come down and talk with Hanji. Ali had been extremely supportive of this decision, saying it was a chance for her to socialise and make new friends. The original plan had actually been to just phone Hanji and explain what she should do if someone asked after her, but Ali had hidden her phone and forced a reluctant Ray to practise small talk with her as they walked down the road. She'd then cheerfully abandoned her supposed 'best friend' to walk to her doom herself.

Hanji was sitting at an empty table by herself, books and papers scattered around her as she feverishly wrote something. For some reason there was a large bowl of spinach beside her that she periodically took handfuls from and stuffed into her mouth. Ray approached slowly, removing her denim jacket now that she was in the cosy warmth of the café. Hanji glanced up at her, expression becoming surprised and slightly guilty as she sprang up.

"Rachel!" She greeted enthusiastically. Ray shifted nervously.

"Um, hey Miss Zoe." She replied. Hanji waved a hand nonchalantly.

"Please, it's just Hanji." She told her. "What can I do you for?" She gestured to the seat opposite her and began gathering her papers and books to stack them on the floor out of the way. Ray carefully sat down, folding her jacket on her lap and fiddling with the hem of her dress.

"It was suggested to me by Levi that I explain some stuff to you." She started. Hanji nodded.

"Yes I assume that's what this was about," she replied apologetically. "I'm so sorry for giving out your phone number like that, I thought you'd know the person and I didn't think." She looked so downtrodden in that moment.

"It's fine, you didn't know." Ray hastily rebutted her. "I should have explained the situation to you, it's me who didn't think." She tried to smile warmly but it may have come across as a little strained. Hanji sat heavily in her chair and rested her head on her hands, peering closely at the younger woman.

"Let's just end with nobody being blamed and settle for it never happening again." She conceded. Ray nodded.

"Sounds good to me. But I do owe you an explanation and an idea of who you should be looking out for." She replied. She held up her jacket and rootled around in the pockets, pulling out her phone. Quickly entering the password she pulled up an old picture and showed Hanji.

In the photo were two people, a much younger Ray and her ex, Caleb. Ray's hair was much shorter and had been gelled up in all directions so that her head resembled a hedgehog, and she had on thick black eye makeup and bright red lipstick. She was sticking her tongue out and raising a middle finger at the camera, face and ears decorated with spikes and studs and chains. Beside her was a tall, muscular man with his arm casually thrown over her shoulder, also throwing a middle finger at the camera. He had a very handsome face, with far less piercings than Ray, and dark hair that had been mussed in an attractive I-don't-give-a-fuck kind of way. His arms were heavily coloured with a plethora of tattoos, and he was looking at Ray in a way that could only be described as loving. The picture had been taken on what Ray had believed then to be the best day of her life. Caleb had taken her to see her favourite band, they'd had a few drinks, and university was almost over. She'd felt as though she was on top of the world back then.

Hanji was surprised that was even the same person in the picture, Ray looked so confident and carefree, and the man beside her looked as though he'd give her the world should she ask. She lifted her gaze to look at the girl opposite her, who was pale and gaunt, far too skinny, looking like she wanted to sink into the floor and disappear completely.

"That man's name is Caleb," Ray said, her voice slightly hoarse. "He's my abusive ex-boyfriend. Should you see him in or around this café or my flat I would like you to inform me immediately. It would also be best not to approach him or make him aware that you are in contact with me, since I am unsure of what lengths exactly he will go to find me. He has something of an explosive temper." She managed to get through the practised words without her voice trembling, a feat she congratulated herself on. Hanji's mouth thinned slightly as she pressed her lips together. It didn't matter that Ray had only been working there a few weeks, or that the girl was so unsociable she barely knew anything about her, Hanji considered every employee her family, since her own had turned her out and rejected her. She felt protective over each and every one of them, and to hear and now see this man had hurt one of her family pissed her off to no end.

"He should be in jail," she couldn't help but point out. The girl had clearly been damaged in a severe and long term way, and the ass who'd done it still had the ability to walk free and harass her.

"He should be, but he isn't." Ray agreed, not elaborating. Hanji pressed the matter anyway.

"Why not?" She asked. More demanded really. Ray shrugged.

"Reasons." She answered cryptically, looking at the ground.

"That you can't tell me?" Hanji probed. Ray nodded silently. A tense silence lapsed between them as she locked her phone and replaced it in her jacket pocket. After a moment (during which Ray wondered if she would be allowed to leave) Hanji suddenly pushed forward the bowl of spinach. "Want some?" She asked. Ray raised an eyebrow and shook her head, cocking her head at the bowl questioningly. "Leftover from a failed experiment." Hanji explained. "I ordered several large bags and now I have to find a way to get rid of it all."

"Oh," Ray replied eloquently. "Was that for those spinach buttercream potato cakes?" Hanji nodded gravely. "Right. I thought those were a bit funny. Why don't you just try to make something else with the spinach?" Hanji looked intrigued, leaning forwards over the bowl.

"What did you have in mind?" She asked eagerly. Ray was slightly taken aback by the face suddenly looming in hers, but didn't flinch back.

"Um, well I guess it the fact that you put spinach in buttercream, which is sweet, which was disgusting." She pointed out. "So just put it in something else. Make it into a syrup and drizzle it on potato cakes, or mash it into a paste and put that on them. Don't make it into a sweet and savoury mix, just keep it savoury and label it as organic so all the health nuts come running." All of her own ideas sounded disgusting to Ray, but Hanji seemed interested. "If none of that sounds good I'll take some of the spinach home with me and mash it up to make a weird kind of paint for me to use." She had in fact used weirder materials in the past as a substitute for paint when she couldn't afford the good stuff or was banned from painting after making a mess.

"You're a genius Rachel!" Hanji exclaimed, clapping her hands together enthusiastically and leaning back in her chair. "Organic! Why didn't I think of that?" Ray shrugged.

"Cause you were too busy trying to incorporate it into a sweet." She pointed out, relaxing slightly as she forgot some of her nervousness. Hanji nodded and leaned forward to rest her hand on her hands again.

"So, you paint?" She asked, switching the subject. Ray nodded.

"Didn't for the past couple years, but been getting back into it." She had used to avidly draw everything around her that interested her. With the group of friends she used to hang out with, this meant she met a lot of people she deemed interesting and would sketch them down. Caleb had hated this, got stupidly jealous when she drew men she passed on the street and had burned all her old sketchbooks. She had been beyond devastated by this.

"Would you mind showing me sometime?" Hanji asked eagerly, reaching into the bowl of spinach and stuffing some into her mouth. Ray shrugged.

"I mean, they aren't great since I'm only just getting into it but I guess." She blushed slightly and looked away sheepishly. Hanji arched an eyebrow at her and waved a hand.

"Eh, can't be as bad as the stuff I've see Levi draw." She chuckled. Ray glanced up at that, opening her mouth to ask what she meant, when they were interrupted by the default tone of her phone in her pocket. Ray jumped at the sudden noise, fingers scrabbling to grab the device from her pocket to answer it. She shot Hanji an apologetic look, which was waved off as Hanji took the opportunity to go and refill her coffee-hot chocolate. Ray raised an eyebrow as she read the caller ID, which turned out to be Eddie, who should really be in school right then.

"Eddie?" She asked when she answered. "What's up?"

 _"_ _Hey Ray, listen, you need to come pick me up from school,"_ Eddie's sheepish voice greeted her and she furrowed her brow.

"Whyy?" She asked slowly.

 _"_ _Hang on, Mr Rice wants me to hand the phone over so he can explain."_ She could practically hear the eye roll in her half-brothers voice. There was the sound of muffled talking and then a voice she vaguely remembered from her high school days. Mr Rice was the headmaster, someone she'd become rather acquainted with due to her adventures with Ali.

" _Rachel Nicoll?"_ He asked.

"Yes, that's me. Is there a problem?" She heard Mr Rice give a rather long, exasperated sigh.

 _"_ _I'm afraid your brother appears to be following in your footsteps."_ Apparently Mr Rice remembered her well enough. _"He got in a fight with another student earlier, he is being suspended for the rest of the week. We've been tolerant recently but I will not abide violence."_ Ray sighed and dropped her head to rest on her hand.

"Okay, but why are you calling me?" She asked. "Why not his parents?"

" _His father is held up at work and his mother is out of the city for the afternoon._ " Ray sighed again and pursed her lips.

"Alright, I'll come pick him up." She muttered. She and Mr Rice exchanged a few more words and she hung up. By then Hanji had found her way back to the table, a steaming mug in her hands.

"Everything alright?" She asked curiously, cocking her head. Ray nodded and got to her feet, tugging her jacket on over her dress.

"My little brother got in a fight at school, I have to go pick him up." She explained apologetically, fiddling nervously with her phone. She'd have to go by herself to pick him up, a daunting task to someone who had never even left her flat alone. It was always with Ali, and that one time with Levi on the way home. But Ali would be at work for the next few hours, and she had only expected she'd have to walk home alone. Then again, the high school was only a ten minute walk from the café, and if she took Eddie to her flat she wouldn't have to take him to his own house, which was a 20 minute walk from the school that she didn't think she'd be able to manage.

"Want me to go with you?" Hanji offered, noting the tense expression on Ray's face.

"No, you should stay here, it's not far away, I'll be fine." It sounded more like she was trying to reassure herself really. Hanji nodded slowly.

"Alright, but if you want some company or need to be picked up I'm just a phone call away." She smiled widely, in a way that was probably supposed to be comforting, but came across as slightly maniacal. Ray managed a small smile in return and bid her employer a goodbye.


	5. Chapter 5

Ray's school hadn't changed much on the outside since her years spent there. It was still a series of ugly grey buildings, with flat rooftops that were paved with gravel and cement dust (not that you could tell from the ground) and lined with windows that were glittering in the diluted October sunlight. When she entered the reception she found it had been refurbished, now a sea of cream walls and burgundy carpets, sporadically peppered with the occasional potted plant. An elderly receptionist waved her towards a few bright green chairs that hurt to look at, and Ray spent a fidgety ten minutes looking at the pictures lining the walls, mostly old year 11 classes from past years. She even found her one, her entire year group smiling nicely at the camera, in the perfect uniform that had been inspected with an eagle eye before they could get in places. She had been sat in the front row, being even shorter at the time, and her eyes looked like tiny black holes, so thickly ringed in eyeliner. Ali looked no better, a few rows higher since she'd had a growth spurt that year and ended up 4 inches taller than Ray. Her blonde hair was streaked with purple and green and backcombed into a mess that stuck out about 3 inches around her face.

Ray glanced up from the photograph when a throat cleared nearby, and found a familiar face with considerably more wrinkles and less hair standing behind her. She awkwardly climbed to her feet, trying not let her nerves get the better of her.

"Hi there Mr Rice." She greeted, holding out her hand awkwardly, unsure of exactly how you greet someone who knows you from when you were the biggest delinquent in his school. Mr Rice didn't seem all that phased by seeing her again, he just looked tired. She supposed that was to be expected, the man had put up with Ali and herself for 5 years, and now he had to deal with Eddie too. She'd have retired years ago.

"Pleasure to see you again Miss Nicoll." He took her hand, giving it a light shake. His voice didn't give away any ill will he might feel towards her.

"Yeah, same to you." Ray replied awkwardly.

"Let's go into my office." Mr Rice suggested. She nodded her agreement and followed him through a nearby door, into an office that had barely changed since she'd last been in there. Sat morosely in one of two chairs in front of a large, tidy desk was Eddie, looking incredibly sorry for himself as he dabbed at a bloodied cut in his lip. Ray sighed and dropped into the chair beside him, letting her bag fall to the floor as Mr Rice took his own seat.

"Who else was involved?" Ray asked, reaching over and examining a large purple bruise blossoming over Eddie's left eye. "That needs ice." She added, familiar with the procedure regarding swelling and bruising. Eddie eyed her warily, apparently knowing that she was speaking from experience.

"A boy called Sam Hall. Edward approached him during lunch break and the two exchanged some… questionable words. Edward hit Sam in the stomach, and it quickly escalated into a full on fistfight. Sam has already been escorted home by his parents, who are not too pleased at the state of their son. Nevertheless, they have decided against taking further actions, and both Edward and Sam will be suspended for the next week." Mr Rice pulled off his glasses and massaged his temple in a long suffering manner.

"I understand." Ray replied. "I'll speak to his parents about it. Can I take Eddie home now?" Mr Rice nodded and glanced at Eddie.

"Go and collect your things from the first aid room, your teachers will be emailing work home for you to do under your parents supervision." He instructed, sliding his glasses back onto his long nose. Eddie nodded and climbed to his feet, shoulders slouched as he exited the office, still dabbing at his lip. Ray turned her attention back to Mr Rice, picking up her bag in readiness to leave.

"Has he given any reason for his outburst?" She asked carefully. Mr Rice shook his head.

"A few students who witnessed it said Riley Emerson's name was mentioned a few times." He told her. "But Edward wouldn't talk to anyone about it. Sam had plenty to say however, not very polite things, but he quietened down once we found and confiscated several contraband items from him. Lighters, cigarettes, that sort of thing." Ray nodded, attempting to put the pieces together in her head.

"He's going through some troubling things at the moment," she said slowly. "Family issues that are probably quite difficult for him to process. I'll speak to him, see if I can get through to him." She shifted slightly uncomfortably in her chair. Mr Rice fixed her with a slightly piercing gaze, the creases around his eyes deepening as he studied her.

"If you would like I can get him referred to our school counsellor. I know it never really did you much good," he gave a brief smile. "But you never had any problems. You simply acted out because it was in your nature. Your brother, however, keeps good grades and his head down. Detentions occasionally, but he's a teenage boy, it's to be expected. This is extremely out of character for him, and something big must have happened to have affected him like this." The smile had gone, replaced by a rather terse expression. Ray nibbled her lower lip, considering the offer.

"I don't know, it's really up to Eddie. Counselling never helps anyone if they don't let it." She was stung by her own hypocrisy as she spoke, but kept going. "I'll speak to him, like I said. Maybe it will do him some good, maybe he just needs a little guidance." She got to her feet as she heard the door open behind her, glancing over her shoulder to see Eddie standing there, a disposable ice pack pressed over his bruise. "Goodbye Mr Rice, sorry about all this."

"Indeed, take care Miss Nicoll." Mr Rice replied with a nod, and Ray hurried from the room, Eddie trailing behind her.

She head thought exiting the slightly stuffy building and getting into the cold air again might be helpful, but she felt herself, if possible, tensing further as she and her brother strode out onto the pavement. Being outside was difficult enough most of the time, it was downright terrifying when she was in a place she hadn't been in years, and the more time that passed, the harder she chewed on her lip. Eddie shot her a nervous look as he kept pace with her, a guilty look in his eyes. Ray sighed and drew her jacket tighter around her.

"So, did you at least land the last punch?" She asked, trying to sound calm. Eddie relaxed slightly.

"Yeah, right in the nose, about a second before Mills dragged me off him." He replied. Ray smiled slightly.

"And was there a good reason to mess up your little face?" She asked. He was silent for a moment, and she opened her mouth to ask again when he spoke.

"Sam, he's one of the dickheads Riley's been hanging around. She's crushing on him I think, but I overheard him and his mates this morning." His hands balled up into fists. "They're using her. For drinks and shit. They made her nick money off her dad, steal bottles from his cabinet, and they're the ones who got her into smoking, but they're just using her." He threw down the ice pack in frustration and stopped in the middle of the path, face screwed up with anger. A glint at the corner of his eye told Ray he was close to tears, but he angrily wiped it away, wincing when he applied pressure to the large bruise. Ray sighed, bending down to retrieve the ice pack and tossing it in a nearby bin. She wrapped an arm around Eddie's shoulders and carefully steered him in the right direction.

"Have you told Riley about this?" She asked softly. Eddie shook his head roughly.

"She's not in school today, and I can't call her 'cause she hasn't got a phone any more. She gave it to those assholes so they could sell it." He muttered. Ray patted his shoulder consolingly.

"Well, I suggest you speak to her. Try and get through to her, but don't expect her to listen straight away. Sometimes, when we think something good is happening, we refuse to see the shitty bits, the truth about what's happening." She swallowed a lump appearing in her throat, remembering all the warnings people had given her about Caleb at the beginning. Eddie nodded slightly.

"It's not fair though, Riley doesn't deserve this shit." He muttered.

"Nobody ever deserves to be used." Ray replied softly. "But it happens, and all we can do is try our best to keep assholes from continuing to use people. Punching them in the nose probably works fairly well, maybe he'll lay off now. But even if he fucks off right now, Riley's gonna need you, she won't understand, and maybe she'll be mad at you, but she still needs you, alright?" She squeezed Eddie's shoulder and they turned a corner together. "Now, fancy a hot chocolate and a brownie?" She asked, a smile flitting across her lips as she caught sight of the cheerful green canopy above the café.

o0o

Levi was in a bad mood. Of course this barely deterred Hanji, since Levi Ackerman was hardly a chirpy little ray of sunshine on a good day. But still, he was in an even worse mood just then, with the café almost completely full of people, all chatting and laughing and coughing, getting their nasty germs all over the place. Disgusting.

Hanji had, of course, known he was coming (he had yet to figure out how she always seemed to know when he was stopping by) and saved him a slightly more isolated table for four in the far corner, where he didn't have a view out of a window, but he didn't have to wait long if he wanted service, and there were less tables squashed around him. He was at least grateful that Hanji was a little too busy to join him just yet, she was zipping around the café cheerfully, making sure everybody was pleased and enjoying their food. She was very hands on when it came to customers, she was always polite, if a little overbearing, and it ensured that not only did her pride and joy bring in a lot of good reviews, but people _wanted_ to come back, and would recommend her to their friends. Not to mention, when she wasn't experimenting with stupid ideas, the food could be utterly perfect.

Of course, Levi didn't forget that even when Hanji was leaving him alone, she was able to bug him. He'd simply glanced up momentarily from his drink at the sound of the door opening, and found her mischievous little eyes flitting between him and whoever had entered – he couldn't quite see past the an annoyingly tall man seated nearby dropping crumbs everywhere. He could easily guess however, and his guess was proven correct when Hanji darted forward and began to propel his paranoid neighbour towards him, her brother in tow.

Rays' eyes widened when she realised where she was being dragged, and glanced around frantically for another table. Levi wouldn't admit that it stung a little that she was so averse to sitting near him. Of course, her search proved fruitless, the café was packed full, and with an apologetic look on her face, she allowed Hanji to shove her into the chair opposite him, her brother squeezing into the seat against the wall.

"Sorry." She told him. "Couldn't stop her." Levi merely nodded as she turned her attention back to his erratic friend. "Um, do you have an ice pack?" She asked, gesturing to her brothers face, which was had clearly met with some fists recently. His left eye was beginning to swell. Hanji leaned over the table, and Levi barely had time to grab his tea before her hair could fall in it. She poked at Eddie's face experimentally.

"No ice, but I can get some frozen spinach!" She declared. "And maybe something for your knuckles." She gestured to the scrapes and bruises marring his hands, and Eddie sheepishly hid them in his lap. Levi peered at him over his cup, observing the injuries and breaking down what had happened. Hanji skipped away into the back of the café to dig up the frozen spinach, and Eddie and Ray began to get comfortable. She pulled her jacket from her shoulders and slid it over the back of her chair, displaying her tattoos again in her sleeveless dress. It was low cut, and showed the ink didn't stop at just her arms, Levi could see half of a tattoo over her heart. She appeared to notice the direction of his gaze and quickly adjusted her dress so more of the tattoo was hidden.

"Who gave your brother the shiner?" He asked her, sipping his tea. Ray looked up at him, gaze flitting to her brothers bruises.

"Kid at school." She answered. "Gave as good as he got."

"I can see that for myself." Levi gestured to Eddie's hidden knuckles. Ray gave a small smile, though she knew she really shouldn't be proud of her brother. He'd had good intentions though, and she'd been in enough fistfights to know she couldn't really lecture him on it. Maybe sign him up for some classes so he could defend himself better if it happened again. Not that it should happen again.

"Heya Ray!" A chirpy voice interrupted her thoughts and she glanced up, finding one of her co-workers standing next to their table, nibbling on a warm cookie.

"Sasha," she greeted, furrowing her brow slightly. "I didn't know you were working today."

"I wasn't, but Eren got his ass kicked by some kids and Mikasa took the day off to take care of him, and Armin needed help when it got busy. Hanji said I could eat as many cookies as I like as long as I smile and do the job." She grinned and took a large bite from her snack. Ray frowned slightly, glancing around the packed café, with only two servers apparently in.

"Should I take a shift, help 'til it quietens down?" She asked. Sasha shook her head, her ponytail swinging through the air.

"Nah, we've got it. Who's your friend?" She looked at Eddie, who was sporting a faint pink blush as he leaned casually back in his chair, apparently wanting to impress. Ray his a knowing smirk.

"My brother, Eddie. Eddie, this is Sasha." She introduced. Sasha beamed at Eddie, and his blush deepened as he stuttered out a greeting. Like any boy his age confronted by someone as pretty and confident as Sasha, he was trying so hard to look good he was coming off as awkward.

"What can I get you both then?" Sasha asked, shoving the last of the cookie in her mouth.

"Hot chocolate for Eddie, tea and cheese scone for me." Ray answered. "Want anything to eat Ed?"

"Brownie please." Eddie mumbled, almost inaudible over the sounds of the café. Sasha seemed to hear him, as she smiled and skipped away to fetch their order. A moment later Hanji bounded back out from the kitchen, the bag of frozen spinach in one hand, a kitchen towel wrapped around something in the other.

"I did find some ice." She informed them brightly, handing the towel and spinach to Eddie, who gingerly placed the ice on his face, and the bag on his knuckles. Hanji pulled out the empty chair and flopped into it, propped her head up on interlocked fingers. "So, Levi, Ray, you two bonded at all recently?" Her eyes glittered wickedly behind thick lenses. Ray raised an eyebrow at the question.

"Shut up shitty-glasses." Levi replied curtly. Hanji gasped dramatically.

"Levi! There is a child at this table!" She told him, pointing at Eddie. Levi snorted, setting down his empty cup.

"Please, we all know the kid swears more when his parents can't hear than I ever do." He retorted.

"Hey!" Eddie began to protest, but Ray kicked him under the table.

"Don't deny it Ed." She told him, smirking knowingly. He scowled at her.

"Yeah well, if I do I learned every curse word from you." He retorted. Ray shrugged.

"You probably did." She replied, sounding in no way guilty about it. Eddie tutted and muttered something about bad role models under his breath. Ray looked away from him to say something to Hanji and Levi, a smile on her lips, but the words died in her throat.

Levi was looking at her. Not odd in itself since Levi had looked her before quite obviously, but usually with an expression of boredom or disinterest. Now his grey eyes were fixed on her, giving the uncomfortable feeling that he could see right through her. She froze, meeting Levi's eyes warily, and very slowly he raised an eyebrow. She scrunched up her nose in confusion in response, not exactly sure what he was trying to tell her.

"One tea, one hot chocolate, one cheese scone and one brownie!" Sasha's upbeat voice brought her gaze away from his and up to see the young girl balancing a tray in one hand and a half eaten muffin in the other. She set the tray on the table, shot Eddie a cheerful smile, and bounced away again. When Ray glanced back at Levi, he was focused on his empty cup.

"So, Levi, did you know Ray does art?" Hanji piped up. Ray flushed ever so slightly and hid her face in the steam rising from her cup.

"Not very good art." She muttered. Eddie snorted into his brownie and she shot him a glare.

"Actually I did know." Levi said. "There's an easel and a pile of sketchbooks in the flat. Doesn't take a genius to figure it out."

"She's gonna bring some of her stuff in to show me!" Hanji barrelled on, ignoring Ray's discomfort.

"I've only got some charcoal still life drawings I did at Ali's." Since moving into her own flat she had yet to actually carry on with anything more than the occasional doodle on the back of a receipt or takeaway container.

"I've still got some of the ones you did of me and Hannah." Eddie said. "And mum framed that one you did of Ali, the watercolour of her on the roof?"

"She did?" Ray was surprised, she had assumed that any art her mother kept was just put in a cupboard to gather dust. Eddie nodded, sipping his hot chocolate.

"Wonderful!" Hanji crowed, clapping her hands together. "Could you show me some of them sometime Eddie?" She asked. Eddie glanced at Ray, who sighed and rolled her eyes, able to see the cogs turning in his head. He always did like to show off anything good his sisters could do, he'd gone on for months about how his big sister Hannah was a genius rocket scientist (she wasn't, she was just an astrophysicist).

"I'd love to!" He told Hanji happily, taking an enormous bite of brownie. Hanji beamed and jumped to her feet.

"Great! Well, you guys have fun, I need to do another walk around, holler if you need something!" She skipped away, leaving the three at the table to drink their beverages and eat their snacks. After a little while Sasha came to join them during her break, and she and Eddie animatedly talked about cooking – a common interest they shared – while Levi and Ray avoided each other's gazes and listened with half an ear.

o0o

When Ray returned home it had gotten dark outside. She wasn't sure when her flat had become 'home' in her mind, but even as impersonally decorated as it still was, she found she was actually becoming quite settled. She even had a plan for her evening, rather than simply sitting around eating takeaway and falling asleep on the couch. She felt as though she was buzzing with energy, though she'd spent the majority of her day out of her flat. Usually she would feel drained, but today it was like she'd overcome something, and when her step-dad had driven her home even he had commented on how she was improving.

She entered her bedroom, tossing her jacket on the bed, and faced the stacks of boxes that littered the floor. It took longer than she'd thought to dig through them to find what she wanted, but eventually she held a smooth box of charcoal in one hand, and a brand new unopened box of watercolours in the other.

Half an hour later and she'd settled herself down in her blue armchair with a clean sketchbook, a stick of charcoal, and a mug of tea steaming on the coffee table. She chewed on her lower lip thoughtfully, charcoal poised above the thick paper as she decided what to draw. She could try more still life's, objects around her flat, but she's grown bored of that staying at Ali's. Her 'style' was face and bodies, she'd never been very good at drawing inanimate objects, she just got bored and gave up halfway through. She liked faces for their complexity, liked how each one would turn out differently, even if they didn't always work. She liked interesting people, beautiful faces and the like. She could think of a lot of people she thought were beautiful, but she couldn't settle for who exactly she felt like tracing out.

In the end she just let her hand do all the work, merely a spectator as it lightly pressed to the page and formed faint lines, black powder tightly packed together and spreading across the creamy backdrop. After a while she began to see it, the short slightly crooked nose, rounded cheeks, wide thick lips curved in an explosive grin, the chin a softly curving line. She paused at the hair, wondering how she could quite perfect it. By the time she finished it, it took almost 45 minutes of careful concentration, she was slightly pleased with it. She'd managed to capture the wild mane that framed the face, though she was disgruntled with the forehead – it came out far too small. She filled in some of the shading in the eyes and added a neck and long sloping shoulders, and then squinted at it for several minutes trying to figure out what was missing that made it look so wrong.

After about 10 minutes of careful scrutiny she whacked herself in the face, smearing black on her forehead, and quickly filled in the thick eyebrows, one raised slightly higher to emphasize the cheeky expression. She left the glasses out, too impatient to draw those, and held her creation up, looking it over critically.

It was clearly Hanji Zoe – though maybe she only saw that because she knew who she was drawing. It could definitely do with improvements, sometimes she messed up and had a hard time covering it up, but she rather liked how she'd captured her bosses bouncing personality.

She set the sketchbook down on the floor, setting her much shorter stub of charcoal on top of it, and pulled her knees up to her chest, feeling a wave of tiredness hit her quite suddenly. She decided to just rest her eyes, too sluggish to move all the way to the couch, even though it was only a few steps away. Within a few minutes, she'd fallen into a deep sleep.

 _All around her was darkness. Freezing black water lapping at her calves. She shivered violently as wind blew right through her, from where she couldn't tell, she couldn't see anything. Everything seemed to be hyper clear, everything in sharp focus. The numbness in her lower legs, the cold air on her pale skin, goose bumps skittering over her, running down her body, her damp hair frozen into cold icicles that melted and dripped down her back and chest._

 _It took several seconds before she registered that the water was climbing higher. Or maybe it was simply stirring faster and casting larger waves. Either way it was splashing higher and higher up her legs, her toes sinking into sludgy mud. She barely struggled, too cold to resist, simply letting the water lap higher, now over her knees._

 _Suddenly hands snapped around her ankles jerking her back and sending her stumbling back several steps sinking further into the mud. She yelped and struggled, trying to wrench her legs free from the iron grip, when a familiar voice bubbled up behind her._

 _"_ _Calm down Rachel baby, it's okay. It's just me. Stop struggling, you know me." Caleb's voice was soft, soothing her gently like a frightened animal. She sighed and stilled her movements letting her legs sink further into the sludge and the water lap higher at her hips. "That's right, just come to me baby, it'll all be alright, I'll take care of you." She closed her eyes and shivered as the water climbed higher._

 _She wasn't going to reopen her eyes, she planned to just let the water climb over her head and swallow her up, but she felt…something. Like a presence appearing nearby. She opened her eyes and blinked into the darkness, cocking her head at something slowly fading into sight. A figure, appearing unaffected by the cold, strode through the water towards her, stopping a few feet in front of her._

 _"_ _Levi?" She asked, voice trembling with cold._

 _He didn't reply, he simply stared at her, his gaze piercing. At her ankles the hands tightened, as if trying to hold onto her._

 _"_ _Rachel baby, ignore him. Come to me, we can be happy baby." Caleb's voice grew louder, and she paused. She furrowed her brow and pulled her right foot free of the mud, attempting to pull it from the hand. It tightened, nails tearing through her skin in attempt to keep her in place._

 _"_ _No Rachel! Stay here! With me!" Caleb's voice rose to a shout, the water stirring faster around her. She struggled harder, the waves crashing around her chest as scrabbling nails tore at her skin, ripping and fighting to keep hold of her. Levi stayed still for a moment, simply watching her, until he lifted up on arm, reaching forward and trailing his fingers over her cheekbones._

 _Almost immediately, Caleb's hands weakened enough that she could wade forward, unconsciously leaned her cheek into Levi's warm fingers, her teeth chattering as the water continued to crash around them. His fingers began to trail down, tracing her jawline, sliding down her neck, and ghosting across her collar bone. They traced the tattoo on her chest, and she felt her stomach lurch uncomfortably, suddenly ashamed, wishing she could bat his fingers away and cover it up._

 _Something moved in the darkness, and she froze, staring behind Levi into the shadows. Hands appeared, stretching out to him, hands she recognised far too well, and she opened her mouth to scream, horrified as Caleb's leering face loomed behind Levi, spattered with blood, from a scene she could remember all too vividly, mouth wide and grinning, bearing down on the duo, hungry and malevolent-_

Ray woke with a startled scream, scrambling up from her chair, breath coming out in short gasps. She almost fell, her joints aching from too long spent curled up in the same position. A thunderous pounding echoed through her head, and she glanced around in a daze, her living room lit by a faint morning light that signalled the start of a new day.

A second later she collected enough of her scattered thoughts to realise the pounding was coming from her door, and she staggered to open it, leaving the chain on so she could peer through.

In the dim hall she found Levi, looking about as rumpled as she'd ever seen him, wearing an expression she couldn't quite pin down. He caught her eye with his, and his mouth hardened in a frown.

"What the fuck kid?"


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: So. Hi. Been a while. Basically I've had writers block for a while, and been insanely busy with college lol :') I'm really not proud of this chapter, it's kinda short, but I want SOMETHING up. Thank you to anyone who has reviewed, I want you to know I genuinely love getting them, and to hear that people like my portrayal of Ray really makes me happy, she's very dear to me. Hopefully I'll have something up in the next 2-3 weeks, but uh, don't quote me on that ;)  
Thanks again lovies, please leave more reviews, I do love them! -Manic x**

"What the fuck kid?"

Ray blinked at Levi, cocking her head to the side slightly as she attempted to steady her breathing.

"Sorry," she murmured. "Did I wake you?"

"No, I was already awake." Levi replied, sounding exasperated. "I heard you screaming bloody murder. You're lucky Erwin isn't home, he'd break down your fucking door." His gaze flicked erratically between her hair and eyes, and she self-consciously smoothed down the frazzled strands.

"Sorry," she repeated. "Fell asleep in the living room." She went to close the door, but his foot shot out to stop it. She frowned and blinked at him in confusion.

"You were yelling my name kid." Levi's eyes stilled, looking into hers. "Some shit about watching out, Caleb's behind me." He paused, aware that her breath had hitched slightly at the news. "Caleb's your ex, right?" He asked. She slowly nodded her head once.

"I'm-"

"If you say you're sorry one more time I'm going to fucking lose it."

Ray was taken aback, nibbling at her bottom lip anxiously, the wispy remnants of her nightmare still wafting about her mind. They stood in silence for a long moment, Levi looking at her with an odd, squinty look on his face.

"That's it. I'm cutting your hair. Open the door." Levi's order took her by surprise, and for a moment she spluttered, attempting to think of what to say.

"I- what?" She asked, flabbergasted.

"Your hair, it's been cut unevenly. It's been bugging me since you moved in, and now it's growing out all wrong. Open the door, I'm fixing it." He spoke bluntly, running a hand through his own hair and smoothing out the strands that stuck out at odd angles. Quite against her own better judgement, Ray took the chain off the door and let him in, and immediately he closed the door and wrapped a hand around her forearm, leading her to the bathroom. She tensed up automatically at the contact, but he didn't tighten his fingers around her, it was more like a loose bracelet she could easily escape if she really needed to.

Once in the bathroom he instructed her to sit on the edge of her bathtub, while he ran back to his flat to fetch his own scissors – Ray only owned a rather blunt pair. To be helpful she placed a plastic bag on the floor to (hopefully) catch the hair as it fell. When Levi returned, he'd changed his clothes from a plain black tee and pyjama bottoms, to a pair of crisp black suit trousers and a neatly pressed white button down. He got to work quietly, combing through her hair in an attempt to get all the tangles out. Her fitful night's sleep meant there were an awful lot of them, but years of her childhood spent letting Hannah tug and forcefully style her hair in games of hairdresser meant the fine teeth of the comb couldn't hurt her all that much.

When every tangle was smoothed out, Levi began measuring and cutting, snipping her hair so that it would all hang in a smooth bob just barely brushing her jawline. They were silent as he worked, slowly but steadily, until his warm fingers brushed against the nape of her neck and she tensed up, shivering slightly. Levi stopped working for a moment, brushing the loose hair from her shoulders onto the floor, and she shivered again and wriggled away.

"Something the matter?" Levi asked. Ray felt a slight blush creep up her neck and onto her face.

"Nothing, I just have a very sensitive neck." She muttered. Levi made a slight sound she couldn't quite place, either a scornful snort, or a laugh he'd attempted to cover up.

"Alright, I'll be more careful." He murmured, gently moving her head into position and starting to cut again. He remained true to his word, for a moment at least. Ray let out a yelping sound when his knuckles roughly grazed the crook of her neck, throwing a dirty look at the tile opposite her.

"You said you'd be more careful." She complained.

"I am being careful." Levi retorted. He snipped off another section of hair, and she yelped even louder as the cool metal of the scissors joined the warmth of his fingers on her skin.

"Quit it!" She demanded heatedly.

"I'm not doing anything." Levi countered, continuing with his work. Ray bit her tongue and kept quiet, goose bumps breaking out across her skin as he continued to purposefully brush against her skin.

When he was finally done she let out a sigh of relief, standing and shaking her hair, enjoying the bouncy feel it had. She stepped over to the mirror and admired the new look, impressed by Levi's skill. He'd cut it shorter at the back, just brushing the nape of her neck, while the front framed her face and lined up with her chin. He'd managed to trim her fringe and make it an almost perfect straight line across her forehead, though it was shorter than it had been before.

"Y'know, you should've been a hair stylist, not a cop." She commented, admiring the cut from every angle. In the mirrors reflection she saw Levi rolling down the sleeves of his shirt.

"I'm not a cop, I'm a detective." He corrected. "And I'm much better at it than cutting hair." He crouched down and began gathering the stray hairs from the floor and piling them in the plastic bag.

"I need a shower." Ray murmured, changing the subject and wrinkling her nose at herself in the mirror. There were charcoal smudges on her face, stray hairs on her bare shoulders, and the dress she'd been wearing since yesterday was crumpled, and were it not black she was sure it would show many more charcoal stains.

"I'm not helping you with that." Levi replied, tying the handles of the bag neatly and dropping it in the bin by the door.

"It was not an invitation." Ray told him, turning to face the real Levi rather than his reflection. She noted that there were faint shadows under his eyes, made visible in the harsh lighting of the bathroom. "Trouble sleeping?" She asked, curious about her tiny, angry neighbour. Levi shrugged.

"Probably a better night's sleep than you get." He replied.

"Probably." She agreed quietly. They stayed quiet for a moment, simply looking at each other, and she wondered why he hadn't left yet.

"How many tattoos do you have?" Levi asked, reach over a hand and lifting her left arm, examining the ink embedded there. Ray shrugged.

"I uh, lost count." She answered.

"Regret any?" He turned her arm to examine the paintbrush that ran along the inner part of her arm, the tip tinted orange and leaving a trail of multi-coloured paint drops that encompassed her wrist like a bracelet.

"Only one." Her voice was very soft, a phantom ache throbbing above her heart.

"Why just one?" He asked, fingers dragging along the skin to the back of her left hand, where several large orchids bloomed and entangled within one another. As she recalled, that particular tattoo had hurt like a bitch.

"Because I promised myself and my mother I would never get a tattoo while I was drunk." Though the memory was a stinging one, she gave a wry half smile. The words 'I solemnly swear to never tattoo my body whilst intoxicated' were inked along her right hip, complete with her signature.

"So?" Levi asked, moving the pads of his fingers to delicately examine the tiny black dots on each of her fingers, between the first and second knuckle. Ray loved those tattoos, she found them rather elegant looking.

"It ain't rocket science. The one tattoo I regret was one I got while I was drunk. I didn't even want it, Caleb got me utterly smashed until I couldn't protest and took me to get it done." The wry smile was gone, and her free hand went to cover her heart, where the tattoo lay. A simple heart and anchor motif, complete with a small banner with Caleb's name delicately filled in. She hated that picture with a passion, wished she could scrub it from her skin. It was like he'd staked a claim of her heart, as if tearing it to shreds and then beating it black and blue wasn't enough. She hardly even noticed Levi's hands had stilled, his fingers tensing around hers.

"And you haven't handed him over to the cops?" He sounded disgusted. Ray gave a weak smile and tugged her hand free.

"I need to have a shower." She reminded him, gently pushing him out of the bathroom and closing the door between them.

o0o

The café was oddly busy throughout the day, Ray barely getting a moment to herself to take a breather. She missed her breaks, and ended up last-minute covering for Sasha, who had apparently ingested a bad couple of eggs and come down with food poisoning – her roommate, Connie, offered a particularly graphic account of what was coming out of her, and where it spewed from. She was on her feet from 9am, and it wasn't until 6pm that she got to sit down at an empty table and rest her head on her arms, too tired to bother working the machine to make herself some tea. By then business had died down slightly to something manageable for Armin, who was happy to let her take a breather, encouraging even.

She didn't notice anybody approaching her, on the verge of falling asleep right there, with her shoes kicked off her aching feet, and her hair even messier than usual. She jerked upright when several things were dropped on the table, and two chairs were scraped back, heavy weights settling into them.

"What-?"

"We got you some tea." Levi cut her off bluntly, nodding to a teacup steaming away before her, alongside a plated cheese scone.

"And we figured you hadn't had much to eat yet, Hanji mentioned you'd been swarmed today." Erwin smiled gently as he explained the scone. Ray blinked at them, still appearing confused, before she processed their words and a small smile crept onto her face.

"You didn't have to." She told them gratefully. "But thanks." She pulled the tea closer and leaned down, smiling into the steam billowing into her face.

"It's no problem." Erwin assured her, a cup of coffee already secured in his hands. "We understand the stress of a long day of work." He unbuttoned his blazer and loosened his tie, getting comfortable. The beginnings of impressive bags were forming beneath his eyes, testament to his words. The same could be said for Levi, only he had tea rather than coffee.

"You're a detective too, right?" Ray asked, cocking her head to the side inquisitively. She ignored the way Levi was staring at her, he seemed to do that a lot and she was learning to do that. If it was because he had a problem he usually spoke up about it eventually. Erwin nodded.

"Recently promoted to Deputy Commissioner of Police of the Metropolis." There was silence for a few minutes as Ray stared blankly at him.

"That's a mouthful." She told him. "Title like that come with a lot of work?" Erwin nodded again, chuckling.

"A lot less in the field, a lot more paperwork." He sounded slightly wistful. "Then again, it provides a lot more power to cause changes that are long awaited." He smiled and sipped his coffee, while Levi made a slight noise.

"Don't get him started on all that shit." He muttered. Erwin snickered and glanced at his friend.

"Am I really that bad Levi?" He asked lightly. Levi rolled his eyes.

"It might sound motivating and all that crap the first three times you hear it, but that speech gets old fast old man." He sipped his tea nonchalantly, a smirk flickering on his face at the mock wounded expression Erwin pulled. Ray giggled quietly, picking up her scone and nibbling at it.

"Has anyone ever told the two of you that you act like an old married couple?" She asked. She laughed slightly harder as the two shot her equally unamused looks.

"It's been mentioned once or twice." Erwin told her dryly.

"Pipe down kid, quit being so immature." Levi rolled his eyes at her antics. Ray bit her lip and took a larger bite from her scone.

"Relax Levi, it's nice to see her able to relax for a change." Erwin looked pleased as he drank his coffee. Ray flushed slightly, looking down at her tea.

"I mean, it's hard not to relax around here now." She muttered, gesturing around the café. "Like it or not Hanji has made this one of my safe places. I walked here without Ali today…" her expression was mixed, like she wasn't quite aware of what she was saying. She hated that she was so scared to walk down the road alone and that it was an achievement to do such a menial task, but she was pleased at the same time, it was like Caleb was becoming more and more like a bad dream with every passing day, like she was scrubbing her skin clean.

"Shitty glasses has that habit." Levi grumbled. He'd been even more reluctant to stick around the café more than he had to, but like it or not, years later, it was a part of his daily routine. Erwin looked pleased.

"Yes, she does." He agreed. They fell into comfortable silence, sipping their respective drinks and mulling over their own thoughts.

"Fancy seeing you lot here!" An enthusiastic voice interrupted the peace as Hanji dropped into the spare seat, making Ray jump and choke on her bite of scone. She coughed, eyes wide as she attempted to remove the blockage. Levi reached over and slapped her on the back several times, until the obstruction was dislodged and sent flying back into her plate with the rest of the scone. A red-faced Ray pushed it away, suddenly not quite as hungry. Hanji cackled, while Levi bore a look of contempt.

"Thanks for that." Ray told her sarcastically, fanning herself in an attempt to cool off her face.

"No problem!" Hanji shot back, winking. She lifted a bag onto the table and shoved it towards Ray, who barely managed to lift her teacup out of the way in time to save it from destruction. "Thanks for showing me these, they were very interesting." Hanji grinned. "I especially liked the one of me, very nicely done." After only beginning to turn back to her normal colour, Ray blushed again. She hadn't meant to add the most recent of her drawings to the sketches, but it was one of her favourites, the only one she was even a little pleased about, or found to be enjoyable to make.

"What're those?" Erwin asked curiously.

"Drawings." Hanji answered. "Turns out Ray's quite the artist, I was thinking of putting some of them up on the walls maybe." At this Ray shook her head firmly. Hanji's expression turned pleading. "But I want to." She whined.

"At least wait til I've churned out something worth putting up." Ray muttered, rolling her eyes and pulling the bag of drawings off the table and onto the floor at her feet. Hanji held up her hands defensively.

"Hey, I'm not gonna put up anything you don't want up." She placated. "Just saying, you have some nice stuff, and it'd look nice on my walls." She beamed and got up from her seat. "You can go now by the way, Mikasa's coming in for the late shift." She bounded away from their table, slightly greasy looking hair bouncing behind her.

"Would you like us to walk home with you?" Erwin asked kindly. Ray shrugged, gulping back the last of her tea.

"If you're ready to go then sure, but I don't want to be a burden." She assured them. Erwin waved her off, finishing his own drink.

"It's no burden, right Levi?" The smaller man shrugged, already getting to his feet. Ray couldn't help but feel a little bit relieved, it was already dark outside, and though she was better at walking to and from work alone by now, she wasn't so composed at night. It would be nice to have their company, she could trust they wouldn't try anything stupid. She smiled at the men, slipping her sore feet back into her shoes and getting up from her chair.

"Let me go grab my things, then we can go." She told the two, hurrying across the café, behind the counter and into the kitchen. Only a few of the stations were being used, the rest of the lights switched off and casting half the room into darkness. Ray shuddered slightly, recalling the piercing darkness of her nightmare.

To the right of the door were several hooks nailed into the wall, a few of them holding up the possessions of the few people currently working. Ray found hers quickly, pulling on a thick black hoodie and a dark denim jacket. She was slinging her little bag over her shoulders when she heard something odd, like knuckles knocking against glass. She paused, glancing over her shoulder and peering across the dim kitchen.

"Someone there?" She called out hesitantly. There was silence apart from the gentle humming of two of the ovens in use. She stood rooted to the spot as the quiet dragged on, something akin to fear keeping her from moving. A shudder made its way down her spine, but still she kept staring intently into the shadows. There was the uncomfortable feeling of somebody's eyes on her, and it was disconcerting.

"Oi." She practically jump out of her skin when Levi's voice broke through the silence. Heart racing she let out a breath she hadn't realised she had been holding, adjusting her bag distractedly and focussing on Levi's face peering round the door, his eyebrows furrowed. "Something wrong?" He asked. She shook her head.

"Just imagining things." She muttered, slipping past him and back into the brighter part of the café. Levi followed, not looking thoroughly convinced.

"Crazy people do that." He told her.

"Yeah…" Was all she said, too distracted to really focus on his words. He cleared his throat, eyes fixed on her, his expression carefully guarded.

"Well then. Erwin was called back to the office unexpectedly, it's just me, if that's alright with you?" Had Ray been paying more attention she'd have been surprised at how considerate he was being, and how oddly soft his voice became. Alas, she wasn't paying attention, and she merely nodded, the hair at the back of her neck raising uncomfortably along with the feeling of eyes fixed on her, burning into her skin.

"That's fine." She murmured as she pushed open the café door, shivering as the cold air assaulted her skin.

o0o

Ray didn't sleep that night. She tried at various points, tossing and turning on the couch, one minute swathed in blankets, and the next kicking them off and lolling half off the red cushions. The feeling that someone was watching her haunted her constantly, and she found herself getting up every 15 minutes to check the locks, make sure no one was hiding behind the shower curtain, peer under the unused bed, and scurry back to her little safe place. The night seemed to drag on, the hours before the sun began to rise chugging away sluggishly. The moment a glimmer of orange hued light slithered across the floor she was up, pacing back and forth through the flat with the curtains thrown open to let in more of the light.

She blinked rapidly every couple of seconds, feeling exhausted after her busy day of work, topped off with the restless night. Her lips were sore and chapped from the constant darting out of her tongue, teeth gnawing away at the skin, a nervous tic she'd never been able to help. Absent-mindedly she noted her rumpled work clothes, running a hand through her hair and wincing at the many tangles she encountered.

"What am I doing?" She muttered to herself, running her hands down her face tiredly. "Going bloody mad, right? Imagining things in the dark." She laughed slightly, the sound strangled and strained. "Great, now I'm talking to myself." She grit her teeth and sat back on the couch, feet planted firmly on the floor, hands clasped in her lap as she stared at a slightly discoloured spot on the wall.

A light rapping at the door startled her, sending her leaping out of her seat and halfway over the back of the sofa before she stopped and talked some sense into herself. She climbed back down and padded over to the door, pressing an ear against the wood.

"Who's there?" She asked, a slight tremor in her voice.

"It's Ali! Open up!" Ali's impatient voice called out and Ray let out a breath, reaching out for the door handle, only to hesitate before actually touching it. "Ray?" Ali called, sounding suspicious. Ray retracted her hand, drawing it into her stomach and sliding down the door.

"I don't want to." She called out softly. She was still feeling the fear that had been plaguing her all night, and she irrationally thought that if she opened that door, she'd find Caleb leering in at her. Ali didn't speak for a moment, but Ray heard a muffled sigh.

"You've got work later." She reminded. Ray buried her face in her knees, raking her hands through her hair.

"I know." She mumbled, not even certain that Ali could hear her.

"I'll let Hanji know you aren't feeling well enough to come in." Ali's tone was soft, pitying, and Ray clenched her hands into fists. She didn't ask for pity. "But Ray, you can't make a habit of this. You can't give into this crap. Remember, keep on fighting?"

"I know." Ray snapped. "I just need space today. And peace." She immediately regretted her sharp tone, biting her lip as tears welled up in her eyes.

"Fine. You'll get your space. Just don't let him win over you." She heard Ali retreat from the door, footsteps hurrying back down the corridor.

Ray let her head hang, sniffling as a tear dribbled down her cheek. A shiver ran down her spine as the feeling of eyes upon her continued, ever constant.


End file.
